Cannot keep the days of the week straight. Cannot do simple tasks without mishaps. Cannot remember words. Mental impairment. Have even been suffering from IBS symptoms on and off all week, too. But I’m still getting a lot done… so I’m just going with it – and staying positive. This too, shall pass.
Going to meditate now and ask for some guidance – and to try to release whatever I am carrying around with me.
Today’s Meditation Notes
SATURDAY | 11:47 AM – 12:15 PM • ♫your love is like bad medicine♪
• ‘Nothing has changed’
• Drug related… ‘Bad stuff’
• R-name (like Ryan)
• ‘No concept of time’
• N-name • ♫red skies at night♪
• the vision of the hook on the wall…it’s a symbol…hooked
• Lord, come with me now • Left arm aches
• Pressure through face
END…Feels like things just stopped.
Today’s Messages…about Addiction
After today’s meditation, and in review of what was written during, I understand why I have been feeling ‘off’… and what I am carrying around with me. And why. I am supposed to understand more about addiction – both the physical and mental aspects of it.And if you’ve read through my journal, you probably understand why I have a connection to this.
“Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.”
THURSDAY | 11:19 AM-11:52 AM • ♫looking for the man in the mirror♪
• ‘unfinished business’
• Skin is itching – here and there
• Left hand & arm feels numb
• ♫another one bites the dust♪
• Mild headache
• something with left eye
• ‘the music world’
• Rubbing face – feels like tired and frustrated
• Attention to mouth
• More itching! • ‘no one mocking you’
• Hunger feeling – in my sternum area
• a ‘pentacle’ – a 5 pointed star > a ‘brand‘ • Good: God
• ‘It doesn’t change anything’
• See many, many faces
• ‘bridge’ ….now pain across temple and left arm
• Sat up, stretched…now just sitting on my bed ‘Indian-style’…think it’s time to be done for now.
Not much time to journal today…things to do, plans to make, places to go, and people to see! More later…
This morning when I woke I saw a message on my cell phone from my sister… sent last night (August 23rd) at 10:31 PM. A life-long friend of her family died in an automobile accident. I am saddened by the unexpected loss of this young life (he just celebrated his 30th birthday) – and for the devastation of his family and friends. I pray now for their strength and healing.
Today’s Meditation Notes
• immediately the song lyric ♫love will rock you – never stop you ♪ comes in
• attention to the left or the right ….this is significant [GUIDANCE]
• Pressure…back top of head
• Feeling of frustration…as if happening ‘all this time’
• Feels like not asleep…just ‘pretending‘ to be
• (clear throat)
• Heard “speak up!”
END…I don’t feel ‘connected‘ this morning and am having a hard time releasing this sadness. As I open my eyes, I see the meditation candle has gone out. It’s okay – I am supposed to stop writing now.
Today I approach the last page of my Journal – Book #4. It feels appropriate…a new chapter begins! The Angels are with me…giving me signs with numbers (like 33, 911, 1117) and random music in my head.
♬ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♫
Today’s Meditation Notes
SATURDAY | 11:55 AM-12:30 PM
• female – young, pretty, dark hair
• Hearing music ♪ ♫
• vision: palm of hand resting on top of head
• feels like GOD
• Left temple, mild pain
• ‘Lord, come with me now’
• feeling of much pain and sorrow
• ‘God will let you release it’
• Vision: a man’s torso with a suit jacket, shirt, tie….like a Groom (?)
• (BIG inhale)
Stopped writing and just let go….lots of visuals, words, and ‘pieces’ of thoughts (like sentences). Didn’t try to focus in on anything… think I just needed to let it flow through.
VISIONS AND THEIR MESSAGES
During meditation today – after the music … from the Angels – I had a vision. I have noticed some of my visions lately have feelings associated with them (or maybe they always have and I haven’t always noticed?) … like the visionthree days ago – of throwing my head down on my arms and sobbing – which actually came in with the feeling of deep sorrow. Today was a vision of the palm of a hand laying against the top of my head…but I could almost feelthis…as if this was the hand of God, on my head. And with the feeling came the message…
You are worthy. You know you are not perfect – and in God’s eyes – that is true perfection.
Tomorrow I meet with a couple of friends from high school…I believe we have connections.
The weather is very hot and humid again. We really need some ☂ rain. My autumn mums are already blooming, but they don’t ☹look happy . And it is back-to-school time for the kids… cannot believe it is that time again already. With all I have been learning lately – it almost feels like I am back in school as well!
• Top of head – itchy!
• B-name (like Bonnie)
• song lyric ♫ living on the edge ♪ (Aerosmith)
• Left side of chest – across heart, like ‘a pledge’
• conversation with mom
• Way ‘out there’
• ‘Hannah’ or H-name
• left ear canal – tickles
• right hand aches – right shoulder aches
• ‘tried to tell you’
• Vision: people crossing a street (with hills)….red pickup truck with leaves/tree branches in the bed of the truck –truck speeds up as if trying to hit the people crossing the street
• Attention to left side of face
• Top of right hand – achy …like from an IV
• ‘can’t pay for services rendered’
• Feels like will or can do something
• ‘overtime’ [could be over time]
So – I assumed ‘escalade’ was just the automobile. Okay – stop laughing and read on…
Escalade | Define Escalade
noun 1. a scaling or mounting by means of ladders, especially in an assault upon a fortified place. verb (used with object), escaladed, escalading. 2. to mount, pass, or enter by means of ladders.
Hmmm – okay, as in escalator then? ⏚
Word Origin and History for escalator n. 1900, American English, trade name of an Otis Elevator Co. moving staircase, coined from escalade + -ator in elevator. Figurative use is from 1927.
A pair of Red-Tailed Hawks have been visiting the area every day – sometimes twice a day. If I don’t notice them soaring in the sky above, I can hear them screeching (even if I am in the house). They are coming very close – perching on tree tops and telephone poles – or the rooftops and chimneys of houses nearby.
This morning I woke to another dream. I don’t remember much about this one – other than the ‘environment‘. I remember what I saw, so this makes me think (again) maybe I was having a vision andnot a dream? Well, whichever – the setting was at my husband’s and my first house (with the house number 1117 – I so loved that house!) . It was outside, in the yard. The entire ground (yard-grass) was covered with something – it looked like bamboo matting.
Maybe I was just having a vision of the grass as it really is right now – it has gone dormant, along with many plants and flowers, due to the lack of rain. But I remember hearing it was going to rain? (well of course – eventually it will). We need rain – we haven’t had any for many days! Water. Agua. ☔☔☔
10:25 AM: Spent a couple of hours yesterday with my niece – who is in the hospital. I wish I could heal her – but I know that I can’t. I can only reflect on all I have learned so far on my journey – and trust in the power of prayer.
Getting song lyrics ♫…and the tune – words are wrong – can’t remembername of artist
Woke up this morning and stretched…and ended up with a Charlie-horse in my left calf. Oh, the pain! ∈ Immediately thought – I must need to drink more water.AGUA.
“Go with the flow, and let the symbolism of water ride on your waves of contemplation.” Source: Symbolism of Water
• Kim [or K-name]
• Feels like can’t catch my breath
• Song lyric comes in …♫ comes from up above… are you ready for a thing called love?”♪[B. Raitt] (Yes! I am)
• Smiling now – peaceful feeling
• Attention to tongue….‘use your voice‘
• ‘But listen!‘ (being repeated) GUIDANCE
• Feel sorrow now
• Feeling of slowly going backward
• Vision: Words – typed words in purple, a sentence…THIS IS AN INSTANTLY….(some word)…MESSAGE< I think [tried really hard to focus in and read it but couldn’t see the last two words clearly]
• Vision: elevator door….black (walls?) – white (frame) – blue (door)
ELEVATOR DOOR SYMBOLISM
I knew exactly what this visionof theelevator doorsymbolized as soon as I reviewed my notes. The elevator symbolizes the transition between levels ofawareness. Because the door was shut, I’m clearly not transitioning – I’m waiting for the door to open. And the color of the door – blue, represents the throat chakra. I have to use my voice – to open the door and get on the elevator. I guess my Guides want to make sure I get this message! ☺
This morning my head fills with song lyrics…many songs, and even a nursery rhyme. This Old Man…”This old man, he played one, He played knick-knack on my thumb; With a knick-knack paddywhack, Give the dog a bone…” Strange I’d get this …maybe I’m just practicing (to be a nana ☺). Sitting down to write has helped to turn the songs and rhymes off in my head, but they have been replaced by that airplane pressure sensation. As I acknowledge this feeling, the feeling of hunger fills me. I am hungry – it’s almost 11:00 AM and I haven’t eaten yet, but I’m going to meditate now anyway. While the house is still quiet.
Meditation Notes: 11:00 – 11:40 AM
• ♫ On and on and on ♪[not even sure what song this is]
• Something ‘going down the drain’
• Life goes… ♫on and on and on ♪
• Feeling – like‘just one more time’– like I really want it bad – feelslike I’m addicted to it…begging for it.
• Sudden pain shooting up the top front of left leg
• ‘reviewing’something…some past experience
• having asudden thought…random memory…
• ‘that’s her!’ • ‘Trust…just totally trust…then you will FEEL’ • New York
• ‘Who’s Joe?’
• Feels like my mind is searching for something(again!)…then pulls back
• Vision: 2 people…something (smaller) in between them
• B G [maybe initials]
• Brian [or B-name]…then saw this name with the strike-through as Brian • ‘they will come to you’ • ‘this is how it starts’
END…hmmmm. Some interesting notes today. ♥ I’m intrigued with the New York note . New York has come up a couple of times in the past. October 1, 2014; October 17, 2014; July 27, 2015 – I wonder if these are connected? And how?
“Just a shot in the dark“… the song lyric keeps randomly popping into my head. Guidance? It’s kind of feeling like this. I’m supposed to take a shot in the dark, maybe? This could apply to a few different ideas I have been contemplating. So okay – I will. I’ll never know unless I try, right?
THE LION’S GATE
Last night I learned about the approaching Lion’s Gate (8-8-8) occurring on August 8, 2015. The energy of the gateway is already with us, and after reading about this celestial event the impact of the energy these last couple of days makes a little more sense now. Read more about The 8:8:8 Lions Gatehere.
Decided I’d best meditate or miss my opportunity. I glanced at the clock before heading upstairs… 11:11 AM. Wonderful. But before I can meditate I will have to remove the audience from my space. All three cats surround me. My three little guardians… each with their own very distinct personality. Just like my kids. ☺
MEDITATION NOTES: 11:17-11:55 AM
• Feels like a charlie horse – right upper leg
• Got and felt like ‘humph’
• Attention to right side of mouth-teeth
• ‘Avondale‘…seeing it as Avon Dale
• …‘what is my environment’
• ‘doubt’…then ‘don’t’
• Someone ‘off their rocker’ – something to do with ‘actions’
• Sudden uptight feeling
• ‘the past’
• Feeling like my mind is searching…as if through a database…plowing through lots of information…’stuff’ (felt like my mind was really doing this…had to pull myself back)